Monday 7 January 2013

Stupid things I did as a child

Ok, I'm sure that we all have stories from our childhood which make us laugh like crazy when we are older.

Like the time I was 8 and accidently hung myself upside-down from a tree branch in my front yard. I thought this would be fun. I had successfully unhooked my legs from the branch and was fully enjoying hanging upside-down.
Until my jeans ripped on my leg, just enough for a small snag on the branch hooked me and I couldn't get my leg down.
Right, so I decided to start yelling for my Mum. Good idea, so I start to yell. Unfortunately, she was yacking on the telephone to one of her friends, like most women did back in the 1980's.
Right, plan B. I'll toss my shoe at the door which will go bang, Mum will come to see what the heck made the noise, then come save me.
So I toss my first shoe annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddd missed!!!!!!!!!
I was able to wiggle my other shoe off, which I then threw at the door, hitting it, but only resulting in my Mum glancing out the window and telling me off for throwing stuff, but she kept on talking.
My Dad came back from his trip to the liquor shop. After he stopped laughing, he then took me down.

Or the time I lost my first tooth while eating French Fries. So, there I am chewing away when my fry turns crunchy. I then exclaim to my parents, "There's a bone in my French Fry!", My parents then tell me that French Fries don't have bones, as they are made of potatoes. They then tell me to spit it out.
Out I spit, instead of seeing white gook, it's now pink and the blood is now pouring forth from my mouth.
After I stop screaming, my parents wash out my mouth, and take a shot. I still have the picture somewhere back in Canada, which whenever I get home, will scan and put it on this blog.

Or how about the time I had a dead set plan to get all new Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars.
I took all my cars outside, gathered up the biggest rocks I could find, and began to toss them onto the cars on the ground.
In my childhood naievity, I didn't hear my Dad walking up behind me. He watched me toss rocks onto my cars, then calmly asked me what I was doing. "Well, Mum always backs her car up here right?"
"Yes" my Dad replies.
"So, if I throw my rocks on my cars, then place them where Mum will drive over them, she will look at them, feel guilty that she ran over them and buy me new ones, right?"
As my father busted his gut laughing, he then informed me that my plan was flawed as Dad saw what I did.
I still have those smashed cars somewhere, though I had some cool looking accident ones.

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